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Meet girlfriend or boyfriend > 30 years > When you find out your husband has another child

When you find out your husband has another child

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Enjoying your new role as teacher?! You know nothing about me so who are you to tell me to support him. My husband has told me totally point blank he doesn't want to have kids with me but you tell me and he tells me I should support him. You know nothing at all. Making it less about you and more about you as a couple dealing with it.

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: What To Do When Your Husband Cheats And Lies - Do THIS If He Cheats & Lies!

Non-Marital Children Born or Conceived During a Marriage

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View Full Version : Discovering your man has a child from a previous relationship. Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil straightdope.

Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks. Just glanced at the Wikipedia entry for Gwen Stefani, and it mentions that she and husband Gavin Rossdale, who she met in and married in , went through a rough spot in their relationship when a paternity test revealed that Gavin was the father of a girl born in So this is a question about the men, since biology pretty much rules out that idea that a woman can have a child she's not aware of.

If we got a phone call from one of my husband's ex-girlfriends tonight, announcing he had a child from that relationship, it would turn our lives upside down. There would be the financial question of past and future child support. We would have a huge added responsibility of being involved in another child's life. It would mean I would probably have to have regular contact and a relationship with my husband's ex-girlfriend.

Would I be angry at someone or blame someone? No, but I'd still be pretty upset. Would I try to make the best of the situation and take it as it comes?

Of course. My understanding of my husband's past is that he had sex before he had sex with me, but not casual sex. So yeah, but only because that meant that he'd had sex with someone that he basically never saw or heard from again.

Unless there were some extenuating circumstances - i. But if my understanding was that my husband had engaged in casual sex, I'd be illogically angry about it, but I'd know it wasn't a logical emotion and eventually come to terms with it. All former marriages and children should be disclosed shortly after the relationship becomes serious.

Sure, but my question relates to a child that the man never knew he had, so there would have been nothing for him to disclose. It'd be kind of difficult for him to disclose something he didn't know about. So I can't see how I could be mad at him about it. However, I admit it would be rather upsetting if the mother was suing for child support, especially past child support does the law allow this if he was not made aware that he was the father?

However, in Rossdale's case, I'd imagine money wasn't the issue because Stefani, presumably, has plenty on her own. My partner kept the fact to himself that he'd likely got another girl pregnant when he was 20 or so - right up until the middle of our first appointment with our fertility specialist to investigate why we hadn't managed to conceive. No wonder he was adamant that all those low sperm count results were wrong I acted nonchalant throughout the rest of the appointment not wanting the FS to think I didn't know and got mad afterwards.

Not because of what the secret was, but the fact that it might have been important and pertinent to tell me at some point in the previous years. She ended up having an abortion so the impact on us is nil, but I was still kind of narked at him. But if he hadn't have known? I might have been a little upset at the general situation, but not at him specifically. Perhaps more at her for keeping the info from him, but these things are sometimes not black and white.

IANAL, but I believe the law at least in California does allow for "back support" even when the father had no knowledge of the child's existence.

It's one of my recurring stress-induced nightmares that one of my husband's ex-girlfriends shows up with a 17 year-old who has decided to go to a really expensive college. I'd be mighty pissed if such a scenario happened to me, but I'd be pissed at the baby-momma, not my husband. Then I'd think the father has a cause of action against the baby's mother for keeping him from his child for 17 years. It would weird me out because that would mean he had sex with a woman at some point. That alone would make have to rethink what I know about him.

As to the kid or child support, I have no idea since the idea has never crossed my mind. I would be very Put Out I'm not sure, but I don't think so. See, my beau is a man-whore. I know about the two kids he knows about, and the two ex-wives one of whom is the mother of the two children.

I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised if there were more children of his running around in the world that he just hasn't learned about yet. Hey, he's 38 and I'm At this point in our lives, I'd be hard-pressed to find a man who doesn't have a history. I am not married to him, nor do I plan to be married to him, ever, so I don't care how many children he is responsible for financially.

And so far, that number is zero as I think he gave up parental rights when his ex-wife remarried. I'd be horrified. And outraged. A history is totally different from a kid. And I am not going to say anymore about it. Also, the movie is excellent and worth seeing.

My partner has a daughter and a son from two former relationships. They are in their 20s now. We are on fairly good terms with both mothers and both kids, and it's never been a problem. And if he hadn't known about the kids but just found out, that wouldn't change anything as far as my feelings were concerned. Right, exactly. Why would I be mad at him for something he didn't know about?

It's not like we're dealing with deceit or keeping secrets here. The idea of being outraged that your partner, at some point s , had casual sex is just silly.

Outraged at my SO? Outraged at the child's mother? It would mostly depend on the circumstances of his finding out, and the circumstances of her decision not to tell him initially. Wary of this new development? Oh hell yes. This thread would have been great with "Need answer fast" in the title.

I think the key is "would you be outraged to discover that, unbeknown to him, your fella had a child? If he didn't know then it's hard to feel outrage. However, depending on what he's told you about his past though it could be an issue: Did he claim never to have slept with anyone before you got together? Was it a one-night-stand or the result of a long-term relationship? If the latter, was it a relationship you were aware of?

If the mother was a hooker you might question his behavior and judgement. If it was a drunken fumble after Prom Night then it's perhaps less of an issue. For example, my wife would be exceptionally shocked to find I'd fathered a child, based on what I've told her about my past and the length of time we've been together. Considering what my husband has told me about his history, it's pretty much impossible for him to have a child unless he's lied to me.

Because of that, I'd be outraged. As far as how I'd react just to my husband having a child, I think I'd be more concerned than angry. Something like that might completely change our lives and future plans, depending on how much of an active role he plays in the child's life once he finds out. It will affect how many kids we can afford to have together, whether we should move closer to his child or not move away , how we handle holidays, whether we'll have the kid living with us at some point I'd be concerned about our relationship and worried about what might happen next.

Why outrage if the guy had no idea he had a child? I can understand the outrage if he knew and it was a "lie of omission", but if some guy's ex concealed a child from him, that's hardly his fault. There would probably be a financial hit, which would be difficult.

Just found out husband has another child

This article applies to parentage of non-marital children born during a marriage between opposite-sex spouses. This includes a child born to a woman who is married but whose husband is not the biological father. This article talks about what to do if you are getting a divorce, and a non-marital child was born during your marriage. Sometimes a married woman gives birth to a child whose biological father is not her husband.

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You've been going out with this person you met online, and things are going well: you really like them, and you enjoy your time together, but you think that they might have a child. As much as you like them, there is no room in your life as it stands for children. How do you go about ferreting out this information? Was this helpful? Yes No I need help Your husband has been acting strange lately.

My husband is having a baby with his mistress.

My husband has been having an affair with a woman for about 2 years. I decided to stick it out with him because I felt he was going through a mid-life crisis. I took the infidelity but the baby is more than I can take. We have been married for 25 years and have been together for I just don't see how our marriage will work. Post reply. Return to Your Reasons For Divorce.

The nightmare of dealing with the unknown love child

He sees her once a week but the affair is over so he says. I am trying not to nag but I feel very angry a lot of the time and want to say nasty things to punish him and there always seems to be an atmosphere at the weekend when the visit is due. When I did my training, the advice we were given for dealing with a child being born from an affair was straightforward. The husband should either have no contact just the basic legal and financial commitments or the wife is fully involved and the baby is integrated into the family just like a child from a previous marriage. However, there are five key pitfalls.

By Angela Neustatter.

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My Husband Cheated and Had a Child

I said that I wouldn't post this but I've been so angry and emotional, I could really use some support. Through the magic of Facebook, a woman that he "hung out with" while he was there contacted him to say that she thinks her son is his. I had a complete breakdown that week. It didn't help that his mother who always interfers made a big post on Facebook announcing her new "grandchild".

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: If Your Husband Impregnates Another Woman,What Will You Do ?

A few years into her marriage, Florence Numukobwa woke up one day to respond to a knock on the door and her life has never been the same. The bitter truth was that not only had her husband cheated on her, he had fathered a child outside their marriage. At first, my husband denied ever knowing the woman but when he was confronted with evidence, he accepted responsibility. It was very hard because I had to choose between forgiving him and divorcing him. The scandal led to Maria Shriver; his wife of twenty eight years filing for divorce. According to Maurice Rukimbira, a marriage counselor at St.

Find Out if Someone Has a Kid

Sometimes, married individuals decide to start second families and keep them a secret from some of their loved ones. But in some cases, it's only a matter of time until the truth comes out — and the truth can come out in some surprising ways. Here are 12 stories from Reddit users about how they or someone in their life discovered their father had a second family. The secretary from the registrar proceeded to call my mom to inform her about it. My mom did investigations on her own a full week after the event.

#1 - How can you heal if your spouse (or you) have to have ongoing contact with And we know that any contact at all with the 3rd party seems to keep the affair alive, Back each other up in public, then work it out privately at home. 6. I can point to another marriage with equal problems where an affair has not occurred.

My husband had an affair with a married woman when he was in his very early 20's. She was in her late 30s and married with children. During their break up she claimed that she was pregnant.

What if I am married but I have a baby with another man?

View Full Version : Discovering your man has a child from a previous relationship. Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil straightdope. Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks. Just glanced at the Wikipedia entry for Gwen Stefani, and it mentions that she and husband Gavin Rossdale, who she met in and married in , went through a rough spot in their relationship when a paternity test revealed that Gavin was the father of a girl born in

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